01 ›› VIDEO

[suckonit]

[Okay so technically they don't have phones in Ivore... let alone pillow phones. So at first he just kind of figures it's a regular pillow and since there's not much else for him to do here in a house made of pillows (seriously what the hell?) he starts using it as... well, a pillow. Which of course leads to the thing accidentally being turned on and... you can imagine what goes on from there. (Hint: lots of frustrated confusion, cursing at it, and attempting to break it open. He ends up accidentally recording himself a few times but it's nothing note worthy aside from the obvious fact he doesn't know what he's doing.)

And finally, success! First thing he's going to do? Complain.]

Whose idea of a sick joke was it to make an entire fucking district out of pillows? This place is so goddamn pink and fluffy it makes me want to puke. [tch. Luckily for him it would be hard to tell for anyone tuning in that he apparently made some kind of massive makeshift bed out of all of the pillows he found in his 'house'. If he's going to be miserable he might as well be comfy. And sleeping is one of his favorite hobbies.]

That Queenie's a real piece of work. Why the hell would anyone want to live in this dump? What do they even eat here? Pillows? [There's a joke there somewhere that he hadn't intended to make. No but seriously, he hasn't found any kind of food market or anything like that. It would help a lot if he got off his lazy ass though.]

So can anyone tell me where I can get a goddamn smoke around here? And where's the nearest whorehouse? I need another job.

Comments

[suckonit]

[Sadly that sass flies right over Axis' thick head.]

Damn right I won't have any trouble, the ladies love me. 'Wild Tiger' is more marketable than 'Frigid Ice Queen' any day.
[Too bad his natural state is confrontational.]

[suckonit]

[Wow you just reek of uptight asshole.]

Well, that ain't a problem for me. I don't do it for the money. [Cocky grins.]

But I guess some uptight fancy-pants like you wouldn't get it.

yes we're still on video UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE I DON'T WANT TO TYPE IT ALL THE TIME OKAY

[suckonit]

[Okay that hurt a little bit. So he scowls.]

Well how the hell should I know!? You always seemed pretty eager to see me back 'home'. Why don't you just admit you love me already, you fag? [He doesn't actually believe that but he's on attack-mode now, so...]

[suckonit]

[Well... okay then. Mental shrugs.]

Nah, not a problem at all babe. Actually it's kinda hot. Maybe I'll get a pair myself someday. [Assuming they're mods.]

[genitrix]

[Porrim has to laugh at that.]

You'd have to grow them. [She runs a finger down the left one, the one with the hook at the end.]

They're all natural.

that's okay I am a chronic slow tagger ;;;

[suckonit]

[Wait hold on ears twitching, you mean those aren't fake ears? ... uh. Okay. Cute, but what the hell? Everything about this chick is... kinda cute but odd to him. The bird is sort-of off screen which is just as well cause he's still adjusting to the fact she has working bunny ears.]

Yeah, I guess. If you ask me they're just dicks. [And likely making a dirty joke that he's yet to catch on to.]

So, what about you sweetheart? You got stuck in the pillow dump too?

whateverrr

[thankskitten]

[ Oops. Yea well Rhys is in a shitty mood. Have a lineface. ]

The Queen has a twisted sense of humor, I'll give her that.

Are you seriously going to join a brothel?
It isn't like we need money here. Or is that something else you haven't figured out yet?

[suckonit]

Halfway? Seriously? Can't I just pay someone to bring me a pack? [It sucks not having servants anymore.]

And that's still stupid, just kinda less stupid. It'd only be stupider if they called him "Manny" or "Manderson" or something.

[Ha. Hahaha sorry Manny.]

[smallskull]

I live in Lochwell, not Astralfield. [She tells him this in the same flat tone.]

[inthemoon]

I'm not sure. There may be others willing to run errands for you.

[ aww 8'( is his name really stupid? he is so bummed. ]

Oh, that's my name. Manny, I mean. .. Sort of? [ a pause, tugging at his hair. ] I don't actually have a real name, but that's what my Guardians call me.

shhh don't be tsun

[suckonit]

[You're the shittiest sorta-boyfriend.]

Why the hell wouldn't I? It's boring just sitting around all day. [But Axis you keep complaining about how you don't want to get off your ass and look for cigarettes--]

What, you think I was in it for the money? I'm good at what I do, and it's fun, so why the hell not? What's it to you anyways?

pfft.

[thankskitten]

[ Y u p ]

Don't you have any hobbies other than whoring?

Ah. But I should've known by the way you acted on my free visit that you weren't in it for the money.

[suckonit]

[Aww, he'd feel bad if he wasn't a dick.

So instead he just laughs.]

Seriously? Wow, sucks for you. Tell your friends to give you a better name. Like, I don't know... Rex or something. [Because that is clearly better yes thank you Axis.]

[suckonit]

... yeah. So? Where's your mom?

[What's with this kid? He's a little creeped out.]

[suckonit]

... huh. No shit?

[Well he's adjusted sorta-ok to living in a house made of pillows. Sure, horned chicks can exist why the hell not?]

Well either way, you're gorgeous babe. So what's your name?

[inthemoon]

Well, it's actually short for 'The Man in the Moon'. Since I'm the Man in the Moon, you see. So 'Rex' wouldn't really work, I think, since I've never been the king of anything.

[suckonit]

Eating, sleeping, working out. I bet you don't even lift--

[He nearly chokes on his own bragging words when he catches up with Rhys' less-than-subtle taunting. His face goes red with indignation, or embarrassment it's really hard to tell with him.]

STUFF IT. I wouldn't even let you do that shit if you weren't so good at sucking me off, so you better watch what you say shit-dick! [Technically he CAN refuse to see you! ... actually that doesn't help his denial at all.]

haha me too

[of_nirvana]

Yes - they are... like that.
[She's not going to call them dicks - if these projections are caused by Magick, this kingdom may intercept them. Perhaps this queen is violent.]
My name is Telma. And, no.
[She says, panning the camera - to show what looks like a strange sea of Mist and grass.] This land seems to shift depending on who's near to it - Astralfield is the name, I recall.

[thankskitten]

...

Of course you would consider those hobbies.
I don't know why I expected anything else.

[ And cue that smirk. You look so cute when you're flustered, Alice. ]

Oh, really? I had no idea that you enjoyed my visits so much.
I'm flattered.

[defaming]

Don't you? I see. Then I'm sure you'll have no trouble.

[He'd rather not discuss the alternative to "doing it for money", but he smiles nonetheless, as if he's not bothered.]

I wouldn't be so sure. I've seen a great deal in my line of work. I can understand. [He does understand, even if he doesn't appreciate it, not that his smile fades.] After all, I don't believe we've met.

[smallskull]

[SHE DOESN'T HAVE A MOM not that she says this.]

In Astralfield, everyone falls asleep at exactly ten o'clock.

[She informs him patiently—perhaps slightly condescendingly so. This guy is obviously not very smart, so she'll need to show him the ropes.]

[genitrix]

[She smiles. She knows it.]

Porrim. I've never seen red tattoos before.

[suckonit]

[Uh...... huh...... he just sort of stares at you like you grew a second head or something, what the hell?]

So you're the 'man in the moon'... right. And I'm the fuckin' easter bunny.

[inthemoon]

[ a puzzled head-tilt. ] No you're not. Aster is a six-foot-tall rabbit from Australia.

[suckonit]

Yeah, so? [He repeats, losing his patience! ... wait a sec--]

No they don't, it doesn't work like that kid. People don't just fall asleep whenever your bedtime is. You just have to go to sleep at ten because mommy and daddy want some happy time alone without having to deal with snot-nosed kids.