mallowhallow | Joint post | Balfour showing off Amery

_{[It sure didn’t take long after Amery’s first post for the feed to come on again, this time showing a beaming face. Well, actually two faces, but Balfour was beaming, his arms wrapped around Amery’s shoulders from behind as he showed him the broadcasting device. He held it in one hand and grinned out to the public.]}

Hey everyone! I know I’ve mentioned him before, but this is my brother, Amery! Say hi!

_{[He nudges Amery, intent on his brother making a good impression among his new friends.]}

Hello.

[Amery doesn’t look nearly as happy about this as his brother does, but he’s dealing with it. If only because it’s Balfour.]

It seems my brother has been sharing stories about me in my absence.

Of course I have! You’re my brother!

_{[So obviously, Balfour would be telling tales. He adored and looked up to Amery, after all.]}

Anyway, I just wanted everyone to know who he was. Please treat him kindly!

_{[And that goes for you too, Amery.]}

Balfour, though I appreciate the gesture, I do believe I’ll be capable of dealing with people whether or not they decide to treat me kindly.

_{[Balfour sighs, looking at the man he’s draped over for a moment.]}

Amery--

_{[But whatever else he was going to say is lost. He kills the feed just as he begins that sentence. Privacy was a valued thing for Amery, after all. Balfour knew this.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[After talking to Reid, it didn't take long for a slightly frightened Balfour to find Amery and wrap his arms around him, burying his face in his back as he clung tightly enough to cause breathing issues. His whole body was shaking as he tried not to flat-out sob on his brother. His scent and warmth were comforting enough. He was content to be ignored should Amery choose that. Just as long as he could hold on.]}

[As if he could ignore Balfour, with the way that he was clinging to him. He didn't push Balfour away though, because he could tell that something was wrong. Honestly he wasn't all that surprised. There had been a lot of clinging happening since he'd arrived here.]

What is it?

_{[Balfour loosened his grip a little bit when Amery acknowledged his presence, but didn't speak for a few moments, still just holding on, just hoping that his brother's mere presence would calm him.

And it did. Amery was always so calm and controlled. People called him cold, but no. He wasn't cold. He just had a lot of self-control and was very private. It wasn't that he didn't feel; he just didn't show that he felt. Balfour knew that. Balfour knew how to read between the lines.

He wished he had that same control. Then he wouldn't be so damn terrified of his brother disappearing.]}

You'll stay, right? Promise? And you'll be careful? You know what happens when the dead are brought back.

_{[And Balfour sure as hell wasn't going to take losing his brother again very well.]}

[It wasn't healthy though, Balfour. Keeping everything inside, to himself, it wasn't always a good thing. And, though he hadn't said it, Amery didn't want Balfour to be so much like him. Balfour was his own person.

He sighed.]

Of course I'll stay. [Where else could he go, really?] I highly doubt anything is going to happen, Balfour.

_{[Balfour sighs a little and closes his eyes, snuggling close to his brother.]}

I don't want to lose you again.

That's not going to happen.

[Because he wasn't planning on going anywhere, and with how quiet things here seemed to be thus far, he doubted anything was going to happen to endanger either of them. Of course, it was always a possibility, and it didn't mean that he was going to lower his guard.

Of course, he still didn't quite believe that he had died to start with. He'd taken the information and pushed it to the back of his mind; either way there was no sense getting upset over it since he was currently alive and well.]

Don't worry so much.

_{[Balfour huffed out a laugh, but didn't remove his face from Amery's chest, nor did he allow his arms to loosen.]}

When have you known me to not worry?

_{[He always worried, always fretted over everything. That was how he was, and Amery knew that.]}

[Balfour had a point there, and for just a moment, Amery allowed himself to smile. Raising a hand, he ran his fingers through Balfour's hair.]

It's not good for you to worry so much, though. Even if something were to happen, I think we're both quite capable of taking care of ourselves.

_{[Balfour peeked up at the hand in his hair, just in time to see that smile. He had gotten Amery to smile. Balfour beamed, hugging his brother tighter for it.

But then his mind went back to the subject at hand.]}

I know. I know you can take care of yourself, but...but if I lose you here, I'm never ever going to get to see you again. This is my last chance.

_{[Because, you know, Amery was dead.]}

Nothing is going to happen to me; I promise.

[Though he was not going to talk about the fact that he was dead back home. He didn't want to think about it or accept it as fact, much less discuss it.

Normally he wouldn't promise something like that, not considering the war or the Dragon Corps, but none of that was here.]

_{[He sighs and closes his eyes, relaxing at those words. He understood that Amery wouldn't be able to stop himself from disappearing, should such a thing happen, but the rest of that promise was valid enough, and Balfour knew his brother well enough, that he could actually take comfort in it.]}

I don't want to lose you again, you know that, right? I'm really glad you're back.

_{[Even if it was only for a short time.]}

Of course, I do.

[A lot of things had changed since he'd last seen Balfour-four years worth of change, apparently-and though he was fairly certain that Balfour somehow adored him even more now than he had before, he had grown up well. The gap between their ages had been cut in half, and it was easier to talk to Balfour now, even if Amery was still a little uncertain how to handle him sometimes.]

Just as I'm glad to see that you've grown up into a fine young man.

_{[Fine young...? Balfour almost teared up, and he definitely blushed.]}

Thanks. You give me too much credit, you know? It's only because of you that I'm any good at all. I did what I could to live up to your example.

_{[He smiled at Amery, proud of himself just a bit.]}

[There it was again. Now. How did he express his feelings on this matter without hurting Balfour's feelings. He wasn't really very good at this.]

I'm glad that you view me as a good example to be like. [But, there was a but coming.] However, it's also important for you to be the sort of man you want to be. You would have grown up well even without an example to follow.

No I wouldn't...

_{[He smiles placidly at Amery. He knew that his brother was wrong, but it's nice to hear that kind of encouragement, anyway.]}

I had no idea how to do things. You've always shown me the way, so of course I tried to be like you. And our parents...well, they...

_{[No, not that. Careful how you say that, Balfour.]}

They missed you terribly, and they expected me to follow in your footsteps. It was easiest and the best for everyone involved.

_{[Except for Balfour.]}

Yes, you would have.

[No, he wasn't wrong. At least, he didn't feel like he was. Balfour would have grown up into a respectable man whether or not he followed Amery's example.]

What do you think I did when I didn't know how to do things? I learned. You would have learned on your own too.

[Oh. That...that wasn't right. But it explained a lot, though it didn't please him to hear it.]

They should never have expected that of you. You are not me, and you never should be.

_{{What was a second son for if not to be a replacement? Balfour sighs and shakes his head. Clearly Amery doesn't understand--why would he? He was the perfect firstborn son, everything that his parents had ever wanted in offspring and more. Amery would never, ever, have to deal with being second best at anything.

Instead of saying any of that, he just shrugged. What else could he say? Things were as they were.

Oh--]}

Oh, and they married Carina off. I guess they didn't want to spend much more money on a nurse for her.

_{[Married at fourteen and as sickly as ever. Balfour didn't have the heart to tell Amery about the miscarriage, about what the medics had told her after that.]}

Joint post | Balfour showing off Amery

Action; locked to Balfour and Amery

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject