01 ›› VIDEO

[suckonit]

[Okay so technically they don't have phones in Ivore... let alone pillow phones. So at first he just kind of figures it's a regular pillow and since there's not much else for him to do here in a house made of pillows (seriously what the hell?) he starts using it as... well, a pillow. Which of course leads to the thing accidentally being turned on and... you can imagine what goes on from there. (Hint: lots of frustrated confusion, cursing at it, and attempting to break it open. He ends up accidentally recording himself a few times but it's nothing note worthy aside from the obvious fact he doesn't know what he's doing.)

And finally, success! First thing he's going to do? Complain.]

Whose idea of a sick joke was it to make an entire fucking district out of pillows? This place is so goddamn pink and fluffy it makes me want to puke. [tch. Luckily for him it would be hard to tell for anyone tuning in that he apparently made some kind of massive makeshift bed out of all of the pillows he found in his 'house'. If he's going to be miserable he might as well be comfy. And sleeping is one of his favorite hobbies.]

That Queenie's a real piece of work. Why the hell would anyone want to live in this dump? What do they even eat here? Pillows? [There's a joke there somewhere that he hadn't intended to make. No but seriously, he hasn't found any kind of food market or anything like that. It would help a lot if he got off his lazy ass though.]

So can anyone tell me where I can get a goddamn smoke around here? And where's the nearest whorehouse? I need another job.

Comments

[suckonit]

[snorts] What, so you think I'm a criminal? [That officially makes him a badass right? Not like he wasn’t already badass but, you know. Being more badass never hurts.]

What, does it ruffle your prissy preened feathers that I’m getting away with selling sex? Or are you just jealous? You could try it out you know, no one’ll lock you up for it here. You look like you could really use a good lay.

[He doesn’t actually expect you to do it of course, hell no. Then you’d be competition.]

[defaming]

If you were residing in my city you would be one. It's simply a fact. Here, however, it appears to be legal. So you are not.

[Kristoph is silent for a moment or two. His expression doesn't change, but this man is trying his patience in spite of his good mood. Someone like this is less than human. Worthless.]

Do I appear ruffled? As a defense attorney, it is my job to defend those accused of crimes, not to criticize or castigate them. I've defended clients accused of far worse crimes than mere prostitution.

[Honestly, doesn't he even understand what a defense attorney is?]

I'm uninterested in such endeavors. You may find your profession fascinating, but not all of us do.

[Kristoph is the pinnacle of uninterested. Sex isn't even something he enjoys. Not that he's about to discuss his personal life.]

[suckonit]

Yeah, yeah, your job sounds like a thrill a minute.
[Short answer? No, not really. He doesn’t know a thing about law practices and honestly what you said to him just now sounds so boring to him that it just goes in one ear and out the other. He doesn’t even know what Castigate means.]

I bet you my profession is way more fun than yours is. [Look he can use fancy words too!] Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. Hell, I’ll bet you’ve never even gotten tail before. You sure act like it.

[defaming]

I do find it so.

[Even if Axis is being sarcastic, Kristoph is not.]

Criminal law is complex and fascinating, and I find my clients interesting. Each case is different and presents its own challenges.

[Kristoph shrugs. His lips don't even twitch. He's good at hiding his annoyance, usually. It takes certain things to push him too far.] You have a way of making assumptions, don't you? I prefer not to arrive at conclusions unless presented with evidence. My personal life isn't up for discussion.

[He has no desire to discuss his sex life with anyone, let alone this man. How vulgar.]

[suckonit]

[Well now he just thinks you can't detect sarcasm. So he'll make it clearer that he finds your job boring as hell by yawning in your face. Well, as much in your face as he can over video anyways.]

Well, why the hell not? You embarrassed? [Heh, his grin is back as he appears to think he's found another angle of attack.]

I bet you're gay, right? That's why you don't wanna talk about it. Nice pink bow you've got there, fairy. [Totally not projecting.]

[defaming]

[Kristoph weathers the yawn, his expression unwavering. Why is he talking to this person, again? Well, he does wish to establish himself as cool and rational, as well as pleasant.]

I simply don't wish to discuss it. [It's not as if he's never had sex, but his current interest in it couldn't be less. And it's not as if he hasn't ever had sex with men, but that's not the reason he doesn't want to discuss it. It's a distasteful subject to discuss with a stranger.]

Why would I be ashamed to be gay? Where I'm from, gay people have equal rights and are treated with respect. I'm not a bigot.

[Unlike some people. He's a murderer, yes, but not a bigot.]

[suckonit]

What the hell is a bigot? [He asks before he can even think to stop himself from sounding stupid. Not like it makes much difference in the end.]

Whatever man, I'm just saying. You look like the type of kid I used to beat up in school. [Announces that like it's something to be proud of or something... yeah Kristoph if you expected a pleasant conversation with this guy, sorry to disappoint.]