001 ❖ [video]

[prosecutory]

[ The video starts to show a man with a sense of refinement and formality, sitting primly at a desk in what seems to be a rather spacious and neat and normal apartment. The bed is made, the closets are closed, and not a single item seems to be out of place, pretty much. The occupant himself is wearing a suit with a distinct shade of red (if you ask him, he’ll say it’s red, but others might say magenta, or pink), a dark vest and a frilly white cravat. His gray eyes betray a touch of impatience and irritation, but he remains still and clears his throat. ]

Good morning. My name is Miles Edgeworth, and I am a public prosecutor. Like all of you, I have been brought to this...this location against my will and through as yet unknown means.

[ Standing not so primly behind him is a girl. And, while Edgeworth may be the picture of poise and dignity, his companion with the bright pink shirt and the golden key dangling from her ponytail is most definitely not. This could be attributed to the way she’s currently mimicking his posture and expression with exaggerated motions. Edgeworth frowns, she grimaces comically. He clears his throat, she clutches at hers like she’s choking.

It’s probably a good thing that he hasn’t turned around yet. ]

And as of now, no one has found a way to leave and return to where they came from. [ He folds his arms across his chest, tapping his right index finger on his left arm. Edgeworth clearly wants nothing better than to return to where he came from, and still does not notice what the girl behind him is up to. ] Though we currently have information regarding the various districts and our...hosts, there is a dearth of knowledge not only regarding how we got here and how to leave, and why we are even here in the first place.

[ The girl makes a noise, a hoity-toity quiet sort of “harrumph harrumph”, as she folds her arms in imitation of Edgeworth’s pose. When he glances over his shoulder at her, though, her hands are clasped in front of her chest and her gaze is earnest and absolutely innocent. ]

That’s horrible, isn’t it, Mr. Edgeworth? All those unsolved mysteries! All those uneaten Swiss Rolls I stashed under your couch cushions, left to get all moldy... we should get on that investigation bit soon!

[ He lets his arms drop. Though he is now facing away, one could figure out from his voice that his expression is very deadpan. ]

If you do leave anything under my couch, you are responsible for cleaning it up, Kay. [ The prosecutor faces his phone again, forehead furrowed in thought. ] Now, this brings me to my proposal: It would do us and potential newcomers good to have a document compiled with what we know, as it may help us deduce new information and lead us closer to the truth, instead of simply leaving everyone’s findings scattered across the network. I have scoured it for anything worth remembering, but anyone should feel free to contribute.

[ He pauses to reach up and adjust his cravat a bit.

In response, Kay reaches up to arrange her muffler in the manner of his cravat. Except that mufflers aren’t cravats and instead of adjusting hers, she tightens it a little too much and lapses into a squeaky choked noise when it proves a wee bit uncomfortable.

At that, Edgeworth turns around again, a bit faster this time. ]

What are you doing?!

[ Before dealing with his assistant, he reaches out to switch his phone off. The last thing anyone will hear is Kay’s protest of “You’ll scare them all away if you don’t lighten the mood!!” That’s all, folks.

And expect tags from either Edgeworth, Kay, or both of them. ]

Comments

{ video }

[the_ninja]

[... is he applauding? Yes. Yes he is.

Apparently deciding that neither are quite enough here, The Ninja has shrugged off the comforting semi-anonymity of a simple text or audio reply, meaning that Edgeworth has the pleasure of that trademark vulpine smirk of his plastered across his screen. Whilst he's intrigued by the suggestion of cataloguing what they know so far, he just can't help himself, especially when it comes to people as severe as poker-faced as this man seems to be. Where the pink suit and cravat- and, for that matter, the perky sidekick- fit into that, however, is beyond him.]

Do you two do theatre? There must be some places here crying out for a double-act like that. [There's a brief, infuriating pause- one long enough to let that sink in but just short enough to intercept any less than amused replies- before he continues.] But putting that to one side, you've piqued my interest. What kinds of things did you deem worthy of remembering?

{ video }

[farakay]

I think he'd definitely run offstage if I tried...

[ life is so tragic, isn't it, Kay? ]

[the_ninja]

Maybe you could use a dummy instead. How are you at ventriloquy?

[farakay]

Not so good, but I could practice!

[the_ninja]

Or maybe you could try your hand at puppetry instead- it's easier than it looks. [putting his head on one side] I doubt anyone would notice the difference if you replaced your friend for either. Is he always like this?

[farakay]

Grumpy and formal and allergic to smiles?

Yeah, that's Mr. Edgeworth in a nutshell.

[the_ninja]

And he didn't bother to introduce you either. [Not directly, at least- "Kay", was it? That's what Edgeworth called her before.] On second thoughts, I think you might have a way to go with him before he's ready for the stage.

[farakay]

That's because no one can introduce me as well as I can!

[ which is why she's clearing her throat and tossing the muffler back over her shoulder. ]

Kay Faraday, prosecutor's assistant and stealer of the truth, present and accounted for!

[the_ninja]

[And it earns her another round of applause, this one more sincere than the last.]

"Stealer of the truth", hmm? That's a pretty rare commodity to target- how much luck have you had so far?

[farakay]

Nothing here... but I'll swoop down on it for sure!

[the_ninja]

[he can't help laughing at her enthusiasm] Fill me in a little here- what does truth stealing actually involve?

[farakay]

Evidence? Stuff like documents from corrupt companies, for example.

[the_ninja]

Ah, so you're more of a thief with a heart of gold- that's a cause I can get behind.

And your partner doesn't mind?

[Maybe he's less of a stick in the mud than he lets on.]

[farakay]

Well, I haven't actually stolen anything yet...

[the_ninja]

Looks like you'll have plenty of opportunities to prove yourself here. [putting head on one side thoughtfully] How old are you- sixteen? When I was about that age I was mostly doing grunt work and recon.

{ video }

[prosecutory]

We do not do theater.

[Edgeworth sighs, massaging his temples as if he just got a headache from that "act".]

I am looking for more information regarding our captors, the districts, and this place in general, preferably apart from general knowledge.

[the_ninja]

What a shame- you two could have been the next big thing.

[Still, he's had his fun and, with a newly exasperated-looking Edgeworth to show for it, he decides to let it drop. For now.

The Ninja fixes his grin into a more serious expression.]

They've been pretty open about that kind of information up to now but we have no way of knowing how honest they're being with us. How far do you trust them?

[prosecutory]

[The next big thing...Edgeworth has nothing to say about that, thank you very much.]

Not as open as you might think; they leave gaping holes in the information they give us.

...And, as of now, I don't trust them. [But he still has yet to figure out why they would lie or go through all this trouble.]

[the_ninja]

You noticed that too, hmm? I doubt that our new "queen" would take too kindly to an interrogation of those gaps either.

[They're questions that have weighing on his mind as well and, as Edgeworth speaks, they come back to the forefront of his mind, more unsolvable than ever. The Ninja sighs shortly, folding his arms.]

Probably a wise decision but it means that you might have to use... other means of finding out what you want to know and sharing it. They're keeping quiet for a reason- you really think they'd let us air all of their little secrets in public?

[prosecutory]

She didn't answer my questions adequately when I confronted her, no.

[A pause. It was more like...she thought he'd find it all boring and humdrum, but Edgeworth is all about the boring and humdrum especially if it will help solve his case. He taps his pen onto an empty page of his organizer.]

As of now all I have are observations and the facts even a half-wit would notice. This information should not pose a problem for our hosts. In any case, if they were so paranoid, then they could police the network and veto every message that is posted.

[the_ninja]

But who's to say that they won't start caring when the truth begins to flow?

[It's his job to be covert and suspect everyone of everything; given the opportunity, he wouldn't conduct any business of this kind out in the open but maybe he's giving the Queen too much credit here.

The Ninja pauses.]

... but maybe you're right. It doesn't look like she really cares enough to take any kind of action- and that's even harder to interpret than if she were actively silencing us. Regardless, I'd be interested in keeping tabs on things for you should you need an extra set of eyes.

[prosecutory]

[This guy has a point, yes. Edgeworth has to agree, but for now, they should make the most out of their unbridled freedom of speech and networking and then just plan ahead in case the queen and her cronies decide that they've had enough of their guests' running mouths.]

I always appreciate an extra set of eyes. What's your name?

[the_ninja]

[without missing a beat] The Ninja.

[And you aren't get any explanation of that one, Edgeworth, sorry about that. In fact, he just carries on like it's not strange at all to have a name composed of "The" and a noun.]

Back home I was in a police force of sorts but I'm assuming that you work by the usual Earth standards. I can play [mostly] by your rules if that's what you'd prefer.

[prosecutory]

[Wow, man, are you for real. Edgeworth just gives you A Look before quickly moving straight to the point. Whatever your police force really is, he'd really rather play by his own rules.]

Yes, I would very much rather work with "the usual Earth standards". Legal ones. [He adds that for good measure.]

[the_ninja]

[He folds his arms, adopting a faintly wounded look. Good luck working how sincere that is.]

... and you're suggesting that I'd do something illegal? I'm offended. My record for the last year or so is squeaky clean. [it's probably better not to ask about everything before that] But whatever keeps you happy. I get the feeling you've already thoroughly familiarised yourself with this place's legal system anyway.

[Edgeworth seems like the type- which means that they likely won't have the most amicable of working relationships. The Ninja's always preferred to skirt the edges of laws and feign ignorance.]