001 ♍ video

[genitrix]

[The video feed opens up to a young woman who's pretty distinct-looking, if all you're used to is humans. Grey skin, blank eyes, and candy-colored horns, not to mention extensive tattoos and facial piercings. She doesn't look particularly concerned, as she launches into the mini-speech she's prepared.]

Hi, everyone. My name is Porrim and I live in Orlea. It's come to my discerning attention that there's a lack of alternative fashion sources in this place. Everything is very...bland, clothing-wise, in my personal opinion. Luckily for you, I'm handy with a sewing machine. Also, boredom is a thing.

[She places her chin in her hand to demonstrate.]

So I'm willing to take commissions for custom clothing, as of right now.

[Porrim smiles with pointed, pearly teeth.]

Let me know!

Comments

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[horseshit]

[Hey cool it was Kanaya's sewy troll broad mother/child.]

Can you sew a sheath and I don't mean for dicks.

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[genitrix]

[She raises an eyebrow.]

I assume you mean a sheath for a sword.

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[horseshit]

You got it.

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[genitrix]

Sure. Are you into leather?

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[horseshit]

Holy uncomfortable Batman.

Uh yeah leather's cool as long as we're still on the same page which would be the page without any sort of dick on it.

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[genitrix]

[She laughs a little bit.]

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It was only a joke. Can you give me the measurements of your weapon?

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[horseshit]

Alright.

We're not doing this over video.

[No matter what she says it's coming out wrong.]

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[genitrix]

I really am so+rry. I didn't mean anything by it, ho+nestly.

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[horseshit]

no big deal im used to tons of trolls coming onto me at all times
also
leathers fine

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[genitrix]

Yo+u must be a ho+t co+mmo+dity.

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[horseshit]

yeah im kind of a big deal thanks for noticing
are you gonna charge me out my ass or should i bring my vip card when i come to pick it up

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[genitrix]

No+ pro+blem.
It wo+uld be po+intless given the lack o+f currency. But the way I see it, favo+rs are just as po+tent a currency. We have to+ lo+o+k o+ut fo+r each o+ther.

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[horseshit]

vip card then got it
whats there to look out for anyway so far everythings been cool

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[genitrix]

Yo+u never kno+w what co+uld happen in a place like this.

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[horseshit]

its happening again
you have to be doing it on purpose
just
youll make me a rawhide sword cover and ill protect your troll ass from whatever this place threatens you with
like rain or vicious sunlight you guys are afraid of that right

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[genitrix]

Actually the sunlight here is quite enjo+yable, and far less harsh than my ho+me planet's.
But yo+u have to+ believe me, I'm no+t do+ing it o+n purpo+se. Yo+u're taking my wo+rds o+ut o+f co+ntext.

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[horseshit]

im reading your words in the context that theyre coming to me in
substance ruling: you wanna do it with me
but thats cool i guess you can swim in the d without losing your shit
or eyes

[genitrix]

That's an interesting co+nclusio+n to+ draw.
Especially co+nsidering we've never met.

[horseshit]

sup
im dave
youre kanayas relative
relative to what we just dont know

[genitrix]

Dancesto+r is a mo+re accurate term, but yes.
Nice to+ meet yo+u, Dave.

[horseshit]

troll words
but yeah no kidding
its pretty ok meeting you too i mean kanayas pretty cool so theres a lot of potential here

[genitrix]

Thank yo+u, I think.

[horseshit]

no problem